How much does a memory cost?

How much does a memory cost?

What would you pay just to have one more hour with a person you love who is no longer here?

As I am woken in the early hours of the morning with messages coming through strongly to write, I am reminded of the value of time.

The last week has brought me to places where I have been able to connect with my beautiful daughter (once again) and be reminded on the incredible 10 years we shared together. While this brings me joy and a sense of peace for the beautiful memories and experiences we shared, there is also deep painful regret, and while it is my mindset to focus on the positive, these regrets will always haunt me, because I cannot change the past. None of us can.

These regrets come in the form of the times I was too busy “doing” to “be”. The times when I thought it was more important to get things done and have things organised before I could allow myself to sit, relax and create memories that would last forever. Because I thought I had endless time. And even though we all know this is not true, we often seem to think that this is the case. We get caught in the cycle of doing, of living up to other people’s and often our own expectations and we lose touch with what is most important in life.

When I lost Ella suddenly & unexpectedly 4 years ago my life was turned upside down. I would pray each night to hold her in my arms, for her to crawl into bed with me in the middle of the night and to just be able to sit with her, not doing anything, just hugging each other and being together just for one extra minute to feel the love we shared together. I was praying for time (I still do). That precious gift that we have all been given yet often take for granted and use so frivolously. Oh, what I would do to get that back.

Yet this is what happens, we get stuck in the treadmill of life, thinking we have endless time, focusing on things that often don’t bring us the internal joy that we are searching for. Striving and doing, living from outside to in, instead of inside to out.  

There is no greater gift you can give to anyone other than your time. When you give someone your time, you are giving them part of you that you can give no other person. It is a portion of your life that you can never take back, yet it is a portion of your life that you can share. That you can create amazing memories from. Big and small.

Today, take a moment to think about just one person who you would like to spend time with. Maybe a person you haven’t seen for a while, maybe someone living in your own home, maybe your own child or partner, maybe someone you know who might not have as much time left on this planet as you think you have. And when you create this time, be present with that person, allow yourself to “Be” in the moment with them, take a step back and give yourself the space to really listen and feel. You may be surprised about how much meaning and joy this brings to your life.

For me I am forever grateful for the time I had with Ella and the memories I created, and they are the moments I treasure, but what I would give to have just a moment in time back together.

Slow down. Today you are given the gift of time. Use it wisely. Use it meaningfully. Because before you know it today will be gone and tomorrow will begin, for some……..